Happiness Isn’t A Static Concept (So How Could Anything Else Be?)

by | Jun 26, 2021 | Love, Marriage, Philosophy

Happiness Isn’t A Static Concept (So How Could Anything Else Be?)

I’m not very consistent.

Readers of The LITMO Life will know that this is true of me and everything. I’m not consistent about blogging, I’m not consistent about YouTubing, I’m not consistent about what I want to do for more than one moment in time.

Throughout the time period that I would consider my “adulthood,” I’ve been consistent about maybe four things at all times, without fail: my puppy, my baby sister, veganism, and working out. These are the things that I would consider “me” and the things I found most important.

Now, I’m adding a husband to that consistency list, but the rest is still the same.

And over the past few months (considering my last blog, this also isn’t a secret), I’ve caught some flack for changing my mind about marriage and been accused of being insincere about my relationship views in the past.

But here’s the thing: Although I know I’m not generally stable, neither is happiness.

Happiness isn’t a static block that sits still and waits for you to find it. It’s a constantly-moving target that shifts from month to month or week to week or even sometimes, day to day.

Happiness doesn’t stay exactly the same over a lifetime, so how could anything else? Unless, of course, you’ve specifically chosen to make something stay, but that’s not happiness, that’s a choice.

I realized, when I was defending myself to yet another person, discussing how I could both hate commitment and want to try it, that the things that have been consistent in my life have been because they were things I decided on. People and values that I decided to maintain consistency with. Ideals that I know are going to be timelessly important to me.

So, what was the list again?

My puppy: My best friend in the whole world and a life for whom I chose to take responsibility.

My baby sister: My other best friend in the world and someone seven years younger that I knew I could be there for.

Veganism: Not a food choice or a lifestyle choice, but a moral decision that my taste buds aren’t more important than the lives of animals.

Working out: The one thing that gives me sanity, always, in every circumstance no matter what.

(And now) Husband: Like my puppy and my sister, this is a human that I not only love, but that I’ve decided to love every day forever. This is a human whose relationship with me won’t be subject to the whims and flights of *feelings*, it’ll instead be guided by the decision to get up and love every single day.

These are all things that nourish my soul, but they are also things I decided that I was going to commit to and love and give importance to forever. Veganism and working out of course make me happy, but they are so much more than that. They are commitments I made to myself. Similarly, my puppy and baby sister and husband of course make me happy, but they are also people who I committed to love and be there for.

Some views outside of this list have remained consistent, too. Views that some would call “liberal” and views that I just call basic human decency: the view that women are equal to men, the view that everyone deserves the same right to love and marry, the view that racism is wrong.

But these are just views, they aren’t happiness.

The things that have remained consistent in my life are bigger than happiness, because happiness only matters sometimes. If I get happiness out of eating a steak, but a cow has to die for that, well then, as far as I’m concerned, my happiness doesn’t matter.

But for other things, chasing happiness is just perfect. For the things that don’t matter, the things that are subject to human whims, the things that are malleable — happiness is just fine to chase.

But that said, happiness is also a weird, elusive concept that runs from our grasp just as we find it.

One day, bouncing from state to state and meeting tons of new people every day made me happy. The next day, being home with close friends and comfort made me happy. Sometimes, eating chocolate and staying up late makes me happy. Some other times, getting up at 5 AM and eating raw vegetables all day makes me happy.

Who’s to fucking know when our happiness will change?

And who are we to judge when someone else’s happiness changes?

That’s part of the reason I’ve always craved novelty over stability. Because I knew things didn’t make me happy for longer than about five seconds and I liked constantly finding new ways to stimulate myself.

And so what if it changes in a way that we (or anyone else) couldn’t have expected?

One day, being single made me happy. And I thought I’d feel the way forever. But surprise, I’m young, and dumb, and who the fuck knows what’s coming. That’s not to say I think marriage is right for everyone, just that I changed my mind about what would make me happy.

The difference is, with marriage, I committed. So even if it doesn’t make me happy every minute of every day, I’m in it.

I’ve noticed that it’s not just me, though and that people seem to beat themselves up when they realize something they once loved is no longer making them happy. Whether it’s a runner that’s lost their stride or a chef who is starting to hate cooking, we sort of lose our minds and feel like we have to go through this whole period of redefining ourselves when we lose our happiness with something we once treasured.

And it sucks, because all self-discovery sucks.

But so what?

The important thing to remember is that happiness, even when you find it, won’t stay perfect that way forever.

It’ll change and grow and maybe, one day, disappear.

And then you’ll just have to go out on your next adventure and chase it down again.

Are Great Minds Born Out Of Just Being Sick Of All The Bullshit?

by | Jun 26, 2021 | Blogs, Life

Are Great Minds Born Out Of Just Being Sick Of All The Bullshit?

Are great meditative minds born out of just being sick of all the bullshit?

I don’t consider myself a great mind by any stretch – but I do think I have a tendency to question what I’ve been told or see around me. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have quit my job to travel full-time and I wouldn’t hold a lot of the beliefs I do (like not believing in monogamy, for example). I think it’s that same tendency to question that has led me to the following place: sick of all the bullshit.

When I say “all” the bullshit, I’m including both major and minor bullshit into that analysis. The “major” bullshit: Donald Trump getting elected, racist cops that kill people for no reason, wars happening, children dying. The “minor” bullshit: people that don’t give a shit about what’s happening in the world, people that are selfish, people that sell air to other people through internet advertising.

The last example may seem weird, but it’s what got me to this “sick of the bullshit” place. Because I’m a blogger and I post about my own blogs, Facebook has been showing me advertisements for other bloggers that are trying to build their own businesses. Even if you aren’t a blogger, you may have seen the “here’s how I grew my email list to 20,000 subscribers in three months” or other various bullshit posts.

The thing is, information like that could be helpful. If any of it were true. If you really had grown your email list to 20,000 subscribers in a short amount of time, you’d be selling and talking to your base and doing what you love, not selling bullshit marketing courses on the internet. And that’s what I am calling them – bullshit – because most of them are born out of people just trying to make money by selling “strategies” that don’t really work.

And I’m sick of it. Just like I’m sick of people living fake lives on Instagram, I really hate the trend of bloggers selling bridges to other bloggers as the “best’ means of making money. The LITMO Life is about travel, yes, but it’s also about living the life you want. I wrote a post about the best blogging tools a few weeks ago, because I do love blogging, but almost as soon as I wrote it, I realized I didn’t want to go that direction with my blog. I don’t want to encourage people to do exactly what I’m doing or even learn to do what I’m doing – I want people to think critically about what might make them happy and then I want to help them achieve that.

I’m also pretty sick of this trend f people being caught up in their own lives, to the extent that they can’t even notice what’s happening around them. Like, I understand if you like traveling, or sports, or makeup – but does that mean you can’t also be knowledgeable about what’s going on in the world and find a way to help? Does that mean you have to look away when someone shows you or tells you real information?

Our world is so screwed up to the extent that we praise and value and spend money on celebrity worship and we willfully ignore what’s happening to our neighbors and friends. We spend a lot of our time on the internet, but instead of learning or growing, we’re busy conning other humans into buying dumb shit.

All this bullshit stuff has been bothering me so much that I’ve considered quitting blogging and social media. Still sort of considering it. The problem is that I really love blogging, but I’m not sure my psyche can handle all the crappiness and deception and marketing that comes along with it. I also love social media, most of the time, but when it becomes a tool to sell people bridges and other bloggers seem to have no problem with that, I hate that, too.

I’ve lately started to think the answer might be just going to live in the mountains somewhere and starting a farm or something where I am totally self-sustaining and isolated, with my puppy. It kind of sounds like paradise, no?

Travel Workouts: The Best Exercises To Do On The Road

by | Jun 26, 2021 | Blogs, Fitness

Travel Workouts: The Best Exercises To Do On The Road

Travel workouts are my jam!

Little known fact about me: while practicing law, I studied for and got both my AFAA personal training certification and my AFAA group fitness instructor certification, because, well, I’m obsessed with fitness! I’ve been struggling with how to create a great plan for my training on the road and I think I stumbled upon a good mix of running, CrossFit travel WODs, and singular exercises for specific muscle groups that I do a few times a week.

I wanted to share with you guys some of my absolutely favorite exercises to do while traveling – these can be done anywhere! Whether you’re in a hotel with a fully-stocked gym, or an airBNB, or an RV, or even a tent – all you’ll need is a little bit of space and the desire to stay fit on the road.

1. Squats

Squats are the mother of all exercises. Right now, a toned booty and strong legs are super “in” but even if they weren’t, squats are killer for your lower half! For runners especially, doing squats regularly can help you stay injury free, by making sure your butt and your legs stay as strong as ever! I do squats almost every single day – they are also a core exercise in CrossFit. But you don’t need the weights – all you need is some good form (see how to do a perfect squat on Greatist, here) and a tiny bit of space! To make them harder, you can always use your suitcase or backpack as weight to keep yourself challenged.

2. Push-ups

Push-ups are another favorite exercise of mine – in a very close second to squats! Push-ups work your entire body and they are great for strengthening your core, too, which many people don’t think of when they think of push-ups. Not only that, they’re fun! Just like squats, all you need is a tiny bit of space and a desire to get your form just right and you’ll be on your way to a stronger body! You can also add some variety into your push-ups by doing incline or decline push-ups off a bed or chair, or even doing something like walking push-ups.

3. Burpees

Burpees are another CrossFit staple and although I hate them, I love them! Burpees work everything – and boy, can you feel it! After just a few burpees, your heart is pounding, your legs are exhausted and your arms feel like jelly. I do burpees almost as often as I do squats, because despite how much they suck, I know how good for me they are. Check out this easy demo for how to do a burpee.

4. V-ups

V-ups are another great, total-body exercise. If you’re sensing a theme, it’s because I believe in getting a great bang for your fitness buck (that’s part of why I love CrossFit so much) and for bodyweight exercises, it’s easy to do seriously functional movements. V-ups work your core, while also making you feel the hell out of your legs. They aren’t hard to learn to do, but they are pretty hard to master!

5. Running and/or Running Drills

Yep, couldn’t get through this list without mentioning running. In an ideal world, you’d have the ability to get out of your airBNB or hotel and hit the open road. However, that’s not always possible. Instead, you can always do indoor running drills like suicides, high knees or butt kicks. These drills won’t replace a longer, more dedicated cardio session, but they will help you stay limber and get your heart pumping.

Sample Workout

For me, a sample workout on the road looks like the following:

3-4 mile run at easy, conversational pace of 8:45-8:50/mile

10 minute AMRAP (As Many Rounds & Reps As Possible – a CrossFit term) of:
10 squats
10 pushups
10 V-ups
15 burpees

Another 10 minutes of stretching and I’m good to go!

What are some of your favorite travel workouts? Let me know in the comments below!

The Internet Is A Bullshit Cesspool Of Competitive Mediocrity

by | Jun 26, 2021 | Life

The Internet Is A Bullshit Cesspool Of Competitive Mediocrity

I haven’t written in a long, long time.

And I suppose, that got to me a bit (well, not NOT writing, just the idea of having a weirdly unfinished blog on the internets). So I wanted to take some time to gather my thoughts and talk for a second about why I stopped writing.

It can be summed up in the title of this post: the internet is a bullshit cesspool of competitive mediocrity. And of come to loathe it. Not just mildly dislike it: actually truly detest and abhor it. As well as most of the people on it.

Now, it’s no secret that I haven’t been a fan of people for a really long time. Since I got married and began hearing about all of people’s bullshit opinions without being asked, I’ve slowly delved deeper and deeper into a happy hole or anthropophobia. I’ve been spending the past several months with my husband, my animals, my family, and that’s it.

I honestly can’t even be bothered lately, to answer phone calls or texts. I’ve become the person I hate – the one that doesn’t understand human connection is all we have.

I haven’t always been like this. In fact, I’ve written extensively about the importance of connection and the fact that I liked Facebook and Instagram for the connection they gave us with other humans, despite their many flaws. I was a people person. And I was happy with that.

But what can I say? A couple of years more of life experience and I couldn’t hold on to my love of people anymore. Maybe a better woman would have been able to, but not me. I’ll be the first to admit that the shitty people in the world got to me and changed me. I don’t know how I could possibly stay who I was in the face of the garbage in the world.

And this isn’t a “woe is me” post. I’m not saying or implying (nor do I believe) that I’m special and people were uniquely shitty to me. People are shitty. The world we live in is a shitty place. The election, the aftermath, what’s still going on in the United States today: I don’t believe in the good in people anymore because I don’t believe there is any.

And I’m not talking about ordinary, garden-variety shitty or large-scale, power-hungry shitty. I’m talking about both. I’m talking about people who:

  • Are racists and treat minorities like dirt just because they can
  • Are narcissistic assholes
  • Believe they are better than everyone
  • Spend hours typing trollish comments on the internet because their life is meaningless
  • Mistreat animals
  • Mistreat humans

And on and on. You get the point.

The LITMO Life started because I was going on an adventure and wanted to share it with people I really loved. The LITMO Life grew because it started to draw strangers interested in my story. The LITMO Life stalled because I couldn’t handle the armchair assholes.

I left social media and it made me super happy. I left The LITMO Life and it didn’t make me happy at all. When I came back to social media exclusively for yoga (one of the unfortunate facts is that to build even a brick-and-mortar business, you need SOME kind of social media presence, I’m currently working on how to get around this one but until then I’ve figured, if you can’t beat them, temporarily join them – and hey no shame in admitting I really want to own my own yoga studio in about six months, following it up soon after with a vegan restaurant lolol), I realized that to some extent, I could make it work for me, but I had to have the guts. For a while, I really don’t. Maybe, still don’t.

Again, I’ll be the first to admit it. In the face of terrible humans, I’m not one to grin and bear it. I’m one to feel stunned, run home, and lock myself in a room in tears, wishing there weren’t so many awful people in the world.

The LITMO Life could exist and flourish because of this thing we call the internet. This endless space of connection and criticism and love and hate and knowledge and ignorance and music and silence and movement and stillness. The internet that allows us to get all the information we could ever need – and all the information we will NEVER need – at the simple click of a button.

The internet that I, now, truly despise.

The fact that I’m typing this on the internet on a still-live website isn’t beyond me. I haven’t been able to fully let go of The LITMO Life because, well, I love it. And I’ve loved it for a long time.

The LITMO Life, unlike many other parts of the internet, is entirely ME. It has no editor, I can shut off the comments if I want, and I’m not bound to write what I think will get the most page views. I’m bound to write what makes me happy.

Still, I can’t get beyond the internet as a place that exists for people to amplify themselves in every way. I stopped writing not because I felt like I didn’t have anything to say, but because I felt like there was no point. There are a lot of vegans, a lot of people that don’t believe in having kids or monogamy, a lot of people who want to make the world a better place. I didn’t feel like I was adding anything to any discourse by shouting into the void – and I still don’t. For better or worse, I feel that most things written on the internet are just that – shouting into a huge void. That’s why I stopped writing for other outlets. The race to the bottom of “what story can draw the most sick, sad, pathetic people in” was a race I didn’t want a place in. I didn’t want to share my stories just for people to marvel at, like a zoo animal. I started writing to SHARE and make real connections. I stopped writing because I realized most people don’t want real connections, they want to gawk and stare and point and whisper.

And I feel like the internet is dying – that while, for a time, it was the way to get things accomplished and build the life you want, I just don’t see how that’s still possible in 2018 and beyond.

There’s just too much bullshit on the internet. There’s too much of everything. How are you supposed to feel even remotely unique when there are about a million other people feeling exactly what you do and about 500,000 of those people have the time, the skill, the fucking PATIENCE to curate their social media, their websites, do it all “right”? I don’t have the time or skill or patience. And I don’t honestly care if I actually am unique – all I cared about, for a time, was meeting those other people that were like me. But the internet didn’t let me do that, because, well, the BULLSHIT.

Even worse, the internet doesn’t allow you to change your mind. Build your career on pieces about the single life? Fuck you for getting married. Build your career on pieces about travel? Fuck you for staying home for a few months. Build your career on anything else – a particular videogame, a style of writing, restaurant critiques, etc., and want to change your mind, your direction, your life? Well, a big FUCK YOU because the people of the internet only value one thing: stagnancy.

So, people of the internet, fuck you.

I’ve missed The LITMO Life because it’s ME. And I’m ashamed that I let all the stupid bullshit get to me, but not entirely because that’s who I am. I’m sensitive as fuck and people being mean to other people really bothers me.

If nothing else, I’ve realized I want to keep The LITMO Life because it’s my dad’s legacy, because I wrote about so much of my life on here and will want to read all of that in here’s to come. Because I want to build something for MYSELF, where I talk about the things I love and ignore the things I don’t. I want to blabber on about how much I love my husband and my puppy and kitty and chatter about my new love of new things and my old love of forgotten things.

So, this time, I say to just MYSELF: Welcome to The LITMO Life, Anjali. It’s fucking missed you.

Happiness Isn’t A Static Concept (So How Could Anything Else Be?)

by | Jun 26, 2021 | Life, Love, Marriage, Philosophy

Happiness Isn’t A Static Concept (So How Could Anything Else Be?)

I’m not very consistent.

Readers of The LITMO Life will know that this is true of me and everything. I’m not consistent about blogging, I’m not consistent about YouTubing, I’m not consistent about what I want to do for more than one moment in time.

Throughout the time period that I would consider my “adulthood,” I’ve been consistent about maybe four things at all times, without fail: my puppy, my baby sister, veganism, and working out. These are the things that I would consider “me” and the things I found most important.

Now, I’m adding a husband to that consistency list, but the rest is still the same.

And over the past few months (considering my last blog, this also isn’t a secret), I’ve caught some flack for changing my mind about marriage and been accused of being insincere about my relationship views in the past.

But here’s the thing: Although I know I’m not generally stable, neither is happiness.

Happiness isn’t a static block that sits still and waits for you to find it. It’s a constantly-moving target that shifts from month to month or week to week or even sometimes, day to day.

Happiness doesn’t stay exactly the same over a lifetime, so how could anything else? Unless, of course, you’ve specifically chosen to make something stay, but that’s not happiness, that’s a choice.

I realized, when I was defending myself to yet another person, discussing how I could both hate commitment and want to try it, that the things that have been consistent in my life have been because they were things I decided on. People and values that I decided to maintain consistency with. Ideals that I know are going to be timelessly important to me.

So, what was the list again?

My puppy: My best friend in the whole world and a life for whom I chose to take responsibility.

My baby sister: My other best friend in the world and someone seven years younger that I knew I could be there for.

Veganism: Not a food choice or a lifestyle choice, but a moral decision that my taste buds aren’t more important than the lives of animals.

Working out: The one thing that gives me sanity, always, in every circumstance no matter what.

(And now) Husband: Like my puppy and my sister, this is a human that I not only love, but that I’ve decided to love every day forever. This is a human whose relationship with me won’t be subject to the whims and flights of *feelings*, it’ll instead be guided by the decision to get up and love every single day.

These are all things that nourish my soul, but they are also things I decided that I was going to commit to and love and give importance to forever. Veganism and working out of course make me happy, but they are so much more than that. They are commitments I made to myself. Similarly, my puppy and baby sister and husband of course make me happy, but they are also people who I committed to love and be there for.

Some views outside of this list have remained consistent, too. Views that some would call “liberal” and views that I just call basic human decency: the view that women are equal to men, the view that everyone deserves the same right to love and marry, the view that racism is wrong.

But these are just views, they aren’t happiness.

The things that have remained consistent in my life are bigger than happiness, because happiness only matters sometimes. If I get happiness out of eating a steak, but a cow has to die for that, well then, as far as I’m concerned, my happiness doesn’t matter.

But for other things, chasing happiness is just perfect. For the things that don’t matter, the things that are subject to human whims, the things that are malleable — happiness is just fine to chase.

But that said, happiness is also a weird, elusive concept that runs from our grasp just as we find it.

One day, bouncing from state to state and meeting tons of new people every day made me happy. The next day, being home with close friends and comfort made me happy. Sometimes, eating chocolate and staying up late makes me happy. Some other times, getting up at 5 AM and eating raw vegetables all day makes me happy.

Who’s to fucking know when our happiness will change?

And who are we to judge when someone else’s happiness changes?

That’s part of the reason I’ve always craved novelty over stability. Because I knew things didn’t make me happy for longer than about five seconds and I liked constantly finding new ways to stimulate myself.

And so what if it changes in a way that we (or anyone else) couldn’t have expected?

One day, being single made me happy. And I thought I’d feel the way forever. But surprise, I’m young, and dumb, and who the fuck knows what’s coming. That’s not to say I think marriage is right for everyone, just that I changed my mind about what would make me happy.

The difference is, with marriage, I committed. So even if it doesn’t make me happy every minute of every day, I’m in it.

I’ve noticed that it’s not just me, though and that people seem to beat themselves up when they realize something they once loved is no longer making them happy. Whether it’s a runner that’s lost their stride or a chef who is starting to hate cooking, we sort of lose our minds and feel like we have to go through this whole period of redefining ourselves when we lose our happiness with something we once treasured.

And it sucks, because all self-discovery sucks.

But so what?

The important thing to remember is that happiness, even when you find it, won’t stay perfect that way forever.

It’ll change and grow and maybe, one day, disappear.

And then you’ll just have to go out on your next adventure and chase it down again.