On Social Media and Sharing Myself

Look, I’ve always wanted to like social media.
I really have.

And if you’ve ever followed me on social media, I know you know I’m a true Gemini when it comes to that — I LITERALLY can’t make up my mind. Some days I really see, understand, and value the human connections that can be made there. And other times, I’m just disgusted at the lack of humanity visible everywhere.

A Year Off

I’ve been completely off Instagram for a year now and back-and-forth on TikTok. I like TikTok because it doesn’t seem as bad in terms of the dregs of humanity.

Instagram though — and obviously Facebook — is a freaking cesspool.

I got off with a post declaring that I felt certain I wasn’t adding anything to any discourse, and I didn’t want to be contributing to the never-ending stream of bite-sized consumable media. So I was leaving.

And I’ve been really happy.

Starved for Creativity

But I’ve also realized in the last year that I’ve been creatively starved.
I am, at my core, a creative person (I truly believe we all are), and in the adult world of practicing law and the time that takes, a lot of my creativity has fallen by the wayside (as you know, dear reader, if you’re here).

As soon as I got back to writing, I realized I wanted to share that writing. I mean, I’ve kept a journal forever, but sitting down to write like this — with the intention of sharing my experience — also meant, necessarily, that I needed to share my art.

And it made me see social media in a new way.

The Cesspool and the Potential

Right now, let’s be honest: it’s filled with crap.

People who have no business having an opinion about literally anything — let alone the state of the world — are constantly shit-posting. And people are sharing the worst parts of themselves: their meanness, becoming bullies to others who are legitimately trying to share their own passions.

So is that the only defensible use of social media?

I don’t know. But I’ve come to realize more of why I didn’t like it — with reason — rather than just not being able to put a word to the feelings.

And it’s primarily this: the diminutiveness of the art form.

I’m Not a Snippet Person

I’m wordy.
I like long, winding thoughts that eventually mosey to a conclusion.

I’m a multi-potentialite too — I love fitness and yoga and writing and being vegan and politics and relationships and so much more.

The way social media demands concision when life itself is expansive is something I always had a hard time getting behind. Yes, it was always fun to share ideas, but I never felt like I got to share ENOUGH to be understood.

Even Writing Can Be Misunderstood

Is writing better?

In some ways, for me, yes — because I can create more of the art form that I want.

But when you zone way in and distill the problem down to one pinpoint, it’s also this: even with long, winding, wordy art, there is still always the opportunity to be misunderstood.

This Isn’t About Fear of Being Perceived

I’d like to distinguish here from a key conversation I see happening a lot across social (yes, I know what I just said) around the fear of being perceived.

This isn’t that.

To me, there is a distinction between a fear of being perceived and a legitimate desire to simply not be.
To live a quieter life that doesn’t invite the opinions of others so much.

The Big Question

As with many things, I’m not sure where I land on that.

But I do know that I find inherent value in sharing art.
And for me, words are the highest form of self-expression. I’m a linguaphile, and I can best put my ideas in the world through writing.

So that begs the question: does it warrant a return to social?

UGH. I don’t KNOW.

I’m feeling yes — and I’m hating myself for that because of every other time I’ve wanted to get back on social then immediately regretted it.

Maybe I Don’t Have to Know

Maybe I don’t have to know.
Maybe I don’t worry about it, because the value of human experience is ART — not the freaking algorithm.

But I think that indecision is a representative point to a greater philosophy:

That I’m not just figuring out if I like social,
I’m also figuring out how much of myself I want to share.

Stay tuned.
I know I will.