Look, I’ve always wanted to like social media.
I really have.
And if you’ve ever followed me on social media, I know you know I’m a true Gemini when it comes to that – I LITERALLY can’t make up my mind. Some days I really see, understand, and value the human connections that can be made there. And other times, I’m just disgusted at the lack of humanity visible everywhere.
I’ve been completely off Instagram for a year now and back-and-forth on Tiktok. I like Tiktok because it doesn’t seem AS bad in terms of the dregs of humanity. Instagram though, and obviously Facebook, is a freaking cesspool. I got off with a post declaring that I felt certain I wasn’t adding anything to any discourse and I didn’t want to be contributing to the never-ending stream of bite-sized consumable media so I was leaving.
And I’ve been really happy. But I’ve also realized in the last year that I’ve been creatively starved. I am, at my core, a creative person (I truly believe we all are) and in the adult world of practicing law and the time that takes, a lot of my creativity has fallen by the wayside (as you know, dear reader, if you’re here).
As soon as I got back to writing, I realized I wanted to share that writing. I mean, I’ve kept a journal forever but sitting down to write like this with the intention of sharing my experience also meant, necessarily, that I needed to share my art. And it made me see social media in a new way.
Right now, let’s be honest: it’s filled with crap. People who have no business having an opinion about literally anything let alone the state of the world are constantly shit-posting. And people are sharing the worst part of themselves – their meanness, becoming bullies to others who are legitimately trying to share their own passions.
So is that the only defensible use of social media? I don’t know but I’ve come to realize more of why I didn’t like it with reason rather than not being able to put a word to the feelings – and it’s primarily the diminutiveness of the art form.
I’m wordy. I like long, winding thoughts that eventually mosey to a conclusion. I’m a multi-potentialite too – I love fitness and yoga and writing and being vegan and politics and relationships and so much more. The way social media demands concision when life itself is expansive is something I always had a hard time getting behind. Yes, it was always fun to share ideas but I never felt like I got to share ENOUGH to be understood.
Is writing better? In some ways, for me, yes because I can create more of the art form that I want. But when you zone way in and distill the problem down to one pinpoint it’s also this: even with long, winding, wordy art, there is still always the opportunity to be misunderstood.
I’d like to distinguish here from a key conversation I see happening a lot across social (yes, I know what I just said) around the fear of being perceived. This isn’t that. To me, there is a distinction between a fear of being perceived and a legitimate desire to simply not be. To live a quieter life that doesn’t invite the opinions of others so much.
As with many things, I’m not sure where I land on that. But I do know that I find inherent value in sharing art. And for me, words are the highest form of self-expression. I’m a linguaphile and I can best put my ideas in the world through writing.
So that begs the question: does it warrant a return to social?
UGH. I don’t KNOW.
I’m feeling yes and I’m hating myself for that because of every other time I’ve wanted to get back on social then immediately regretted it.
Maybe I don’t have to know. And maybe I don’t worry about it because the value of human experience is ART not the freaking algorithm.
But I think that indecision is a representative point to a greater philosophy: that I’m not just figuring out if I like social, I’m also figuring out how much of myself I want to share.
Stay tuned. I know I will.