One Saturday afternoon, my husband and I found ourselves with not much to do. We didn’t have plans to go out for the first time in a while, we planned to see my parents the next morning, and we were bored at home.

Then, serendipitously, we remembered our last visit to a sex shop and the exciting purchase we made there: a Clone-A-Willy kit (seriously, if that product name isn’t brilliant marketing, I don’t know what is). While we were in the store making other purchases, we stumbled upon said Clone-A-Willy kit at the register (yes, I’m about to tell you that this was an impulse buy, just like sticks of gum at the grocery store) and decided to get it. It sat around at our house through a few weeks of busy-ness: pre-wedding, planning, mini-mooning. This Saturday, though, we found ourselves horny and with nothing to do (after our second daily round of sex).

(You’ll realize why the horny part matters in just a second.)

So, I pulled out our Clone-A-Willy kit to get ready to make a mold of my husband’s, well, willy.

Then, a snag: I realized that somewhere in moving or wedding prep or just general disorganization, I lost the instructions. How were we to know how to clone a willy without step-by-step instructions? It’s not like, common knowledge. Or at least, it wasn’t in my “everyday information” bank.

I shouldn’t have feared because the internet saved the day. There were a complete set of instructions available online! Two sets, in fact: one safe for work and one…not. We watched the NSFW version (obviously).

In short, the instructions went like this (in my head): get your husband hard, create the molding materials by mixing them together, make a mold of his member by sticking it in a tube (and keep it hard while it’s in the tube), leave it there for two minutes, pull it out, wait a day, pour some liquid rubber into it, wait a day, and voila, husband penis dildo.

Once we got the instructions done, we were off.  (I’m going to be honest about how this whole process went so if you are squeamish or prude, just stop reading.) The first part of the instructions was obviously the most fun. That said, it was also the most awkward. Imagine trying to get your significant other aroused, in a sexy way, while also trying to mix some white molding powder in a bowl with water that’s exactly 94 degrees and stirring it vigorously because you only have 120 seconds before it sets. Yeah, I know the “get your husband hard” part of the instructions seems like it would be the easiest, and it is, but the other stuff you have to be doing WHILE your getting your husband hard isn’t the most seamless.

In any case, we made it work. We threw on some adult media in the background (um…I’m not talking about a movie where people curse) and managed to get the molding powder in the tube. Then, we managed to get my husband’s penis in the tube. Good and good. Okay, now imagine you’re a man (or, if you are a man, just imagine the scenario) and you have to keep your dick hard while it’s in a tube of disgusting white goo, basically, and if you don’t keep it hard enough, then your wife won’t have a dildo that’s the shape of your penis. But you can’t touch it, or let your wife touch it, because it’s in the goo! No pressure, right? Well, luckily for me, my perfect husband is basically a stallion, so I didn’t have to do much work. We figured out pretty early on though, that just because I couldn’t touch him to keep him at attention didn’t mean he couldn’t touch me. So I pranced around naked and got…touched. All over.

Moving on.

Once the minutes were up, it was time to carefully remove his penis from the tube and hope the molding material had set enough that it wasn’t wet anymore. Not so difficult – check. Then, it was time to wait. We were supposed to let the mold set for 24 hours before the next step.

So we did.

The next afternoon, I eagerly checked to see if the mold was ready. It was! On to the next portion of this marital event: mixing the rubber (which was bright pink, because that is my favorite color and because that would be the color of the dildo) and pouring it into the mold. This part was also not so difficult! I mixed it and poured it in. There is also a little pink vibrating device that goes inside the dildo with the battery removal part left hanging out. So, we stuck that in the way the instructions said and then went back to waiting. For another day.

24 hours later, it was time for the big reveal. I anxiously checked it like a kid on Christmas morning (only I was unwrapping something way better than a new bike) and when I saw that it had set enough, took it to Jonathon to open it with him.

After a bit of a struggle with the tube (hey, my husband’s not small – and yes, be jealous), we pulled it out…and it was AWESOME! The dildo they showed in the instructional video was very, VERY detailed. We figured, though, it would be a good idea not to expect that because the molding powder didn’t seem super high quality, and well, you never know.

That said, the dildo we made definitely looked like the male member I know and love. I was stoked!

My only comment on using the Clone-A-Willy kit is that the dildo comes out a little rough. This may be my fault for not mixing the rubber enough (I concede that it could be me, and not the kit) but it also seems like the molding material breaks into tiny bits that get stuck in the rubber. So while we have a dildo of my husband’s penis now, we’ll probably make another one just to figure out how to make it smoother. And, well, a bit more usable.

Overall, it was an insanely fun experience. And here’s what we learned (besides the obvious new knowledge about mixing rubber better and inventive ways of keeping a penis hard in mold): being married should be an adventure – all the time, every minute.

Sometimes, the adventure is big: like traveling to ingest some substances and see some EDM live. Sometimes, the adventure is medium-sized: like booking a flight to Aruba to do nothing but relax on the beach. And sometimes, in day-to-day married life, the adventure is small: like making a dildo of your husband’s penis and having the best time with it.

Marriage isn’t about the stereotypical roles of nagging wife and put-upon husband. It’s about having fucking fun with your spouse, as much as you possibly can.

Jonathon and I like to adult as little as possible. We do what we have to and we’re continually finding ways to adult less.

And in the time we’re not adulting, we’re having a blast by making replicas of our anatomy in our kitchen on a Saturday afternoon (yes, I said our) (Clone-A-Pussy afternoon to follow shortly).

The end.

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